In this age of measurement, where everything measurable is measured and everything immeasurable is sent to business schools for measures to be devised, measuring everything is a must, for anyone who’s business is taking measures and the EU is nothing if not a measure-taking organisation.

It is therefore reasonable that it should have its own measuring instrument, to measure the response of public opinion to the measures it proposes (or has already taken). That instrument is the Eurobarometer, not just an instrument but a true institution of, well, institutional Europe.

Almost every other day a new Eurobarometer survey will appear informing us about what the citizenry in the EU and the candidate countries believes on this or that issue.

“Since 1973, the European Commission has been monitoring the evolution of public opinion in the Member States, thus helping the preparation of texts, decision-making and the evaluation of its work”, our confreres over at the Commission’ Communication Directorate General, proudly announce on the Eurobarometer homepage and in many ways it is more or less that. Indeed, the astute follower of EU matters cannot help but be impressed by how close policy seems to reflect the opinions of those surveyed by the Eurobarometer – and vice versa.

Worthy as it is though, Eurobarometer rarely touches upon the truly interesting questions. Well, the questions that interest me, those that usually the Press relegates to the newspapers’ “odd news” section

Admittedly, sometimes it does manage to intrigue, even titillate me in the all the right ways. To take just the most recent crop of surveys, Eurobarometer informed us that, for example, “53% of Europeans surveyed still believe that antibiotics are effective against viruses” (“still”…?) or that one in four Europeans are, physically “almost completely inactive” (I am not one of them, I blink every now and then)

Even better, it has found that almost two thirds of all Europeans no longer have all of their teeth and fully 15% have “experienced difficulties, over the last twelve months, in chewing, biting or eating food”…

Yet something is still lacking, that scintilla of pure genius still eludes the Eurobarometer. For example, they never asked the One question Ipsos, a professional polling outfit, did ask, “Have aliens already arrived?”

Many will rush to exclaim “but of course” and think of more than one celebrity (or pet) that cannot possibly have entirely terran DNA, while others will, sadly, smirk.

But back to the poll. On the whole, one participant (you will notice I was careful to avoid using the word human) in five stated that aliens do indeed live among us. The list is headed by the Indians, almost evenly balanced between believers and non-believers at 45% Vs 55%. The Chinese follow with 42% and then the Japanese and the Koreans. The first Europeans to figure on the list are the Italians, right after the Koreans with 25% and, at this point it is useful to point out that it is some of the world’s most ancient civilisations that seem to know… (not to mention John Carpenter).

Elsewhere in Europe, only 8% of the Dutch and Belgians and 9% of the French seem to have somehow stumbled upon the truth while a rather extraordinary 84% in the UK answered that aliens do not inhabit the earth.

Ipsos points out that “Those who believe that “alien beings have come to earth and walk amongst us in our communities disguised as us” (20%) are more likely to be men (22%) compared to women (17%), under the age of 35 (25%) compared to those aged 35-54 (16%) and those over the age of 55 (11%) and those more likely to be higher educated (22%) compared to those who are lower or middle educated (19%). There is virtually no difference in terms of income level (lower 22%, higher 20% or middle 19%) and marital status (married 19% versus other 21%).”

The poll, Ipsos points out, is based on “an international sample of 24,077 adults aged 18-64″ “interviewed in a total of 22 countries representing 75% of the world’s GDP”…

Eurobarometer…. eat your heart out