We wanted to go to the 12th floor for lunch. Nice calm canteen with a nice view.

We waited for the lifts. Half of them were under maintenance. One finally came, stopped, the door opened, then closed and it went off again. So we waited some more. Lifts clearly were broken. We waited and waited. The little red light showing a lift is asked for just went on and off all the time. The numbers showing where the lifts are at the moment started going weird, and went from -2 to 5 down to -1 or up to 11, and so on. So finally we said we should try to find some other lifts. We went across the floor to two other lifts. No, said the guard, you can’t take these. They are for visitors. You have to take the others over there. We explained that all the other eight or so lifts were broken, he said ok then you can go up here, but they only go to the fifth floor.

Met two ladies who also took the stairs and were looking for the restaurant. They disappeared through a corridor. Don’t know what happened to them.

We came to the fifth floor. The only way to go further from there was the other lifts that were still broken or the stairs, so we were brave and opted for the stairs, and started the ascent of seven floors. Out of breath after two floors up, we said, at least after this we can have a dessert without feeling guilty. We reached the 12th floor – at last – but doors wouldn’t open. There were doors alright, but no way of opening them from the staircase. What do we do? Maybe we have to go further up, the stairs continued, we climbed up and arrived on 13th floor (didn’t know it existed), managed to open a door, but ended up in a closed attic. Went down to 11th floor, managed to get out of staircase, but was in a back office storage place. Saw another lift. Met two ladies who also took the stairs and were looking for the restaurant. They disappeared through a corridor. Don’t know what happened to them.

Lost in the labyrinth (c) cuellar on Flickr

We met a guy who said, you can take the lift here and go out on the 12th floor. We went in, and the guy as well, pressed the 12 button, but the lift went down. Far down. The guy went out somewhere below ground level, at some kind of recycling storage place (are we still in the same Parliament building?), and then we thought ok now it will go up to the 12th. It went to the 2nd, and the doors opened. We were in the back of a kitchen or something (but surely there isn’t one on 2nd floor). We didn’t see anybody, and the doors closed again. Lift stood still. Doors opened again, two heads turned up around the corner looking at us. Doors closed again. (it all started to feel a bit Kafkaesque..) Then the lift made a very strange noise and all went silent.

We just want to get out of here, we said.

Ok we said, we have to try to get out of here. We pressed the door opening button, and luckily it worked. The two heads, belonging to two guys working at the kitchen, came back and asked us where we wanted to go. We looked at each other – is there ay point continuing our search for the 12th floor? – We just want to get out of here, we said. One of them guided us out through the labyrinths of the kitchen. We went through a door. We were back where we had started. Close to the non-working lifts. We didn’t check if they were working again. We quickly dismissed the idea of trying the other EP canteen. We headed straight for the front door, went out in the open air (what a relief), and walked down the street to have lunch at the Committee of the Regions.

But I must say it is quite interesting to work in a place where you still after 12 years can see rooms and corridors (or for that matter even floors) you never knew existed and where you still can manage to get lost.