Going to Strasbourg means many things for our team, most of them usually associated with stress, hard work and French cuisine. When we are there, we work in a tiny open space, we share lunches and coffee breaks, we even have a weekly team dinner in a restaurant crazy enough to welcome us all. It’s a bit like being in a summer camp or in a family trip. Some love it, others just don’t complain. Being young, attractive – on average, let’s say we are collectively attractive (and yes, I do benefit from the group effect more than others) and away from home, you may expect the French cuisine to cast its spell on us and boost our level of sensuality. In the line of transparency always defended by this collective blog, here are the ten things about our sex life in Strasbourg you are entitled to know.

1. We don’t have any

None. Reason is: our significant others stay in Brussels, most of the time. Another incapacitating factor is also our condition of civil servant. Grey suits, parliamentary reports as main subject of conversation, eurojargon volapuk don’t rate high on the sexiness scale.

2. Those who have one don’t tell

Yes, I don’t think it’s very team spirit like, but that’s the truth. Although we know a lot (too much?) about each other, we still maintain a red closed curtain on our private sports. During October’s session, three out of eight members of our Strasbourg’s crew were in town with their significant other (either because he/she works at the Parliament or in a professional field linked to Parliament’s activity). The five others may have behaved like wild cats on a hot tin roof or like reclusive nuns, we have no idea.

3. There’s a dog involved

One of our colleagues, who comes to Strasbourg every month always comes with his girlfriend. And their dog. The dog squats 40% of our chats – which says a lot about our art of conversation.

4. Two girls, one guy, one bedroom

Two of our female editors were supposed to share a bathroom connected to two rooms while staying in Strasbourg. One of them had arranged the venue for her other half but… the hotel only offered them one single room (with three beds). So that must mean the lucky one shared a room with two of our female editors. And he doesn’t even belong to our team. This proves both the existence of God and His peculiar sense of humor. Wait, there’s worse: they refuse to tell us anything about their nights! How selfish one can be…

5. Pajama parties are for dummies

Of the same female editors mentioned above, one never wears pajamas and the other forgot her pajamas in Brussels. Is it me or is it getting hot in here?

Wait! You forgot your pajamas again! (c) Lastnightsparty

6. We have rules

The staff regulation is the civil servant’s Bible. Here what it says on the subject we are dealing with here:

“Officials shall refrain from any form of psychological or sexual harassment.

An official who has been the victim of psychological or sexual harassment shall not suffer any prejudicial effects on the part of the institution. An official who has given evidence on psychological or sexual harassment shall not suffer any prejudicial effects on the part of the institution, provided the official has acted honestly.

Psychological harassment means any improper conduct that takes place over a period, is repetitive or systematic and involves physical behaviour, spoken or written language, gestures or other acts that are intentional and that may undermine the personality, dignity or physical or psychological integrity of any person.

Sexual harassment means conduct relating to sex which is unwanted by the person to whom it is directed and which has the purpose or effect of offending that person or creating an intimidating, hostile, offensive or disturbing environment. Sexual harassment shall be treated as discrimination based on gender.”

So, we refrain.

7. We don’t have condom dispensers

The H1N1 threat has brought to all Parliament’s facilities tissue dispensers impregnated with some viral repellent, nice foam dispensers and smart instructions regarding best hand washing modus operandi, but no condom dispenser. That makes us less equipped than the average French high school but we don’t know if it has something to do with the staff regulations or with the actual and real level of our collective sexiness.

“It’s a pity there is no more European pornstars anymore, like Rocco Siffredi” complained loudly a male editor

8. There’s a wallpaper debate

One regular member of the Strasbourg crew uses a photo of Ms Kate Moss, topless, as his desktop wallpaper. Every time there are female nordic editors present in Strasbourg, he gets sharp remarks about it, which makes him stick to this wallpaper although he used to change it every month. Latin female colleagues don’t frown at him, though he suspects this could change, should he favour a topless photograph of, say, Ms Monica Bellucci.

9. The golden years are behind us

“It’s a pity there is no more European pornstars anymore, like Rocco Siffredi” complained loudly a male editor in our open space. Everyone nodded vigorously, expecting more. But he never elaborated. Men have the focus ability of goldfish.

10. So all the fun is in Brussels

While we are sweating and typing and running between meetings, we *know* that the fun is, actually, in Brussels, where we suspect the core of our team is having deliquescent orgies, lap dances and exquisite flirting just to keep us on our toes. Or maybe they just work and go home as usual.

It’s possible that you landed on this page by “feeling lucky” in Google while doing some university researches absolutely not connected in anyway with sex, p0rn nor foam dispensers. If this is your first visit on our blog, you may want to read our About page as well as our Team’s.

If you are interested in the October Plenary session, why don’t you have a glance at our 10 things we learnt during last plenary story?